Tips for Flirty Texting on a Dating App

The online dating world is an awkward place for a lot of people. Half of the conversations don't turn into real-life meet up and even higher statistics of people who match but don't ever engage in a conversation.

Starting a conversation on a dating app can be difficult for 3 reasons. 1) the person experiences moderate to high communication anxiety so saying something on a dating app is just naturally difficult. 2) the person really wants to impress the match hence putting extra pressure on themselves. 3) the person has a shy personality trait, so they have difficulty expressing themselves.

Flirtatious communication "flirty messages" have been proven by research to a) get the other person's attention, b) show that you're a fun-loving person, c) show off positive personality trait, d) indicate you're a confident and charismatic person.

With all the positive outcomes stated above, keep in mind that there is an appropriate flirty message and an inappropriate flirty message. Not all flirtatious communication is equal. Some are nice, some are creepy.

Example 1 "I am captivated by your smile. Tell me what makes you smile."
People love compliments so go with that and add a positive conversation stater prompt. This will lead to a fun and engaging conversation.

Example 2 "It's attractive that you seem so well-travelled. What were your favorite places to visit?" 
People love coming off as "cultured" and well-travelled" so that's a great compliment. Asking an open-ended question is also a great way to keep a fun conversation going.

Creepy example "I want to make love to you/go down on you."
This is inappropriate and people should never start a flirty conversation with extreme sexual innuendos. This can make people feel uncomfortable and show you're not an intelligent communicator.

I think appropriate flirting leads to a more substantial conversation and building relational closeness. Flirting is something that people should continuously do, not only in relationship initiation but also for developing intimacy and maintaining the relationship in the long run. Esther Perel says flirting is one of the key elements to keeping eroticism in the relationship.